A Friend Wrote My Autobiography In His Name

For so long, I attempted to justify myself.

I was on the shoulders of men I considered holy, and I sought to follow their example. Yet come sundown, I was nothing more than a fraud. I was one of the whitewashed tombs to which our Lord compared the scribes and Pharisees (Matt 23:27).

I was the apathetic Christian and a hypocrite, conforming to the church when I was in the church and conforming to the world when I was in the world.

I had plenty of supporters, both in person and online. I had people regularly complimenting me, saying how smart I was and that I'd make a good church leader. In truth, maybe I rode on that. Maybe it felt good. It made me feel justified in my faith, and ultimately it was this earthly praise that became the treasure I was storing up.

My ears hungered for the wasteful food of praise, and they were being fed.

Tony Allen, Design of Providence,
My Confession